Breaking News

In what was initially thought to be a No-Shave November move, it appears Derek Holland's mustache will be taking it's talents to South Beach.   This comes as a blow to Rangers fans who are still reeling from their team losing consecutive World Series.  Marlins fans, however, have yet another reason to be excited about 2012.  In addition to their cutting edge neon colored horror-scape of a ballpark and a brash new manager, the newly minted Miami Marlins now have a mustache with considerable upside under team control for the next five seasons.


While not a finished product by any means, scouts say the Dutch 'Stache is highly projectable.  A rival AL scout was quoted as saying that, "While not being much more than a pedo-stache right now, if you look at it with the right eyes, you can see a Selleck.  It's a mustache you can really dream on."  


**Derek Holland could not be reached for comment, but he clearly seemed distressed by this recent turn of events.**